I was a contestant on the new UK TV show “Can’t Touch This!”
Well, it was a homemade contest, very similar to the TV programme, first aired a week or two ago.
For anyone who didn’t see it “Can’t Touch This” is an assault course where contestants lose all dignity doing battle with impossible obstacles. The finalist of each show has the opportunity to leap from a precipice to touch a car – if they touch the car they win it.
My homemade version had so much more at stake.
In the TV version, show contestants do battle with swinging boxing bags while balancing on a narrow beam, they are thrown, bumped, bashed, and crumpled into embarrassing falls as their body's conspire against them and gravity.
Did we build our own home-made course?
Not quite.
Well, it was a homemade contest, very similar to the TV programme, first aired a week or two ago.
For anyone who didn’t see it “Can’t Touch This” is an assault course where contestants lose all dignity doing battle with impossible obstacles. The finalist of each show has the opportunity to leap from a precipice to touch a car – if they touch the car they win it.
My homemade version had so much more at stake.
In the TV version, show contestants do battle with swinging boxing bags while balancing on a narrow beam, they are thrown, bumped, bashed, and crumpled into embarrassing falls as their body's conspire against them and gravity.
Did we build our own home-made course?
Not quite.
Image courtesy of Prawny at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
As I lay prone on the sofa, under blankey, cuddling my hot water bottle, I felt guilty. Not because of the athletic contestants, but because - for a long week - Noel had been working on the boat alone, feeding me, and clearing up – flu had taken over my body.
‘I’ll make us a cup of tea,’ I croaked as we giggled at the TV. Yes, it was another big Saturday night for us!
‘I’ll make us a cup of tea,’ I croaked as we giggled at the TV. Yes, it was another big Saturday night for us!
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
‘That’ll be nice,’ Noel said, clearly relieved that I was actually going to do something. He continued to giggle, and then laughed out-loud clutching his stomach as he watched my efforts.
First challenge: move hot water bottle out of the way.
It really didn’t want to go, the liquid bag was quite comfortable perched on my tummy, but with courage and persistence I pushed it aside.
I took a deep breath, for next it was battle-of-the-blankey.
It was wrapped around my torso and clinging to me with serious tenaciousness and snugglyness. I unwound it, wiggled, and kicked my way free. This left me panting, but I would not give up – there was a cup of tea to be had!
Next, I had to sit up.
Fortunately, I could utlise the side of the sofa to haul my weakened, pathetic body to sit up.
Noel applauded, then wiped his eyes.
Seeing the finish line in sight, I swung my body back and forth to gain momentum for the big stand-up-challenge, and with a little wobble I completed it on the second go!
Go Me!
Motivated by the thought of a chocolate biscuit with the cuppa, I staggered to the galley, clutching the work top, and filled the kettle of water all on my own.
I didn’t win a car, but I got a nice cup of tea and a piece of chocolate and I managed to finish both before I snuggled back under blankey, hauling my hot water bottle back on my tummy once again – deeply satisfied in my competitive spirit and ability.
It may take a couple of days to get over it all!
Do you think I should to apply to the TV show?
First challenge: move hot water bottle out of the way.
It really didn’t want to go, the liquid bag was quite comfortable perched on my tummy, but with courage and persistence I pushed it aside.
I took a deep breath, for next it was battle-of-the-blankey.
It was wrapped around my torso and clinging to me with serious tenaciousness and snugglyness. I unwound it, wiggled, and kicked my way free. This left me panting, but I would not give up – there was a cup of tea to be had!
Next, I had to sit up.
Fortunately, I could utlise the side of the sofa to haul my weakened, pathetic body to sit up.
Noel applauded, then wiped his eyes.
Seeing the finish line in sight, I swung my body back and forth to gain momentum for the big stand-up-challenge, and with a little wobble I completed it on the second go!
Go Me!
Motivated by the thought of a chocolate biscuit with the cuppa, I staggered to the galley, clutching the work top, and filled the kettle of water all on my own.
I didn’t win a car, but I got a nice cup of tea and a piece of chocolate and I managed to finish both before I snuggled back under blankey, hauling my hot water bottle back on my tummy once again – deeply satisfied in my competitive spirit and ability.
It may take a couple of days to get over it all!
Do you think I should to apply to the TV show?
Image courtesy of aechan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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